Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Dilemma...

Okay, we are having a bit of a dilemma. Most people probably wouldn't announce this problem to the world...but we're all learning, right? Here goes...

Tonight, a father of a kid Kyle goes to school with (not in his class, but WAS in his class last year) called. Of course, when you start talking to the parent, your heart sinks, and you wonder what on Earth your kid did wrong...Well, it was a biggie...

The dad said that his son said Kyle and a few other boys were trying to hit his son in the crotch...not sexually, just to get a laugh from the other kids. Now, if you have boys, this shouldn't be too shocking...we are constantly telling the boys not to do that, but for some reason they think it's hilarious...my brothers did it to each other all growing up...not that it's right...but boys are gross! The dad I spoke with wasn't a jerk, he was really nice, said he understood that boys do this, but just wanted us to know, and to talk to Kyle about it. Anyways, immediately following our phone conversation, I told Troy, and then I pulled Kyle upstairs to talk to him. I told Kyle what this dad had suggested and Kyle DENIED it. He was very adamant that it wasn't him. I called the dad back, and asked him to please make sure it was our Kyle. (There are 3 Kyle's in Kyle's class this year...) He said it was. So, I talked with Kyle about how serious that type of thing is, and it's never okay for anyone to do that to anyone...police get involved in this type of thing...etc...etc....Kyle kept vehemently denying that he did anything wrong, and that it must have been someone else. Kyle said he doesn't even play with that kid at recess. Kyle even offered to let me look in his eyes! (Explanation from a previous post...). We've talked about lying, and Kyle definitely knows it's better to be honest, than to lie, (punishment wise) so my first instinct is to believe him. Also, Kyle is NOT a good liar. And, come on...offering to let me look in his eyes?

So, here's my problem...is it wrong to believe him? Of course I want to believe him...nobody wants to think their kid has done wrong...I mean, I definitely think this is something serious. (That, don't worry, we had a LONG talk about, and I'm pretty sure Kyle will be keeping all bodyparts to himself in the future) I don't think that the dad that called me is a liar. But, I know nothing about his son. (I almost think they probably had a FHE last night about the subject, which is why it probably came up...)I don't want Kyle to think he can't tell me things, because I never believe him...so what do you do? I've never wanted to be the type of parent who has wool over their eyes, and let's my kids get away with murder, but how do you decide at this point? It's basically the word of 2 second graders against each other...I know my second grader...He may do that with his brother, but I definitely don't see him doing it at school (but, what do I know? When he talks about recess, he is always playing sports, and stuff...). So, how do you know what to do? Any advice would be great...

I am not going to have Kyle apologize to this kid. Is that wrong? If I'm telling him I believe him, there's no reason to have him do that, right? We did talk about if he ever sees anyone doing that type of stuff to anyone else, to get a teacher or an aid - and if he didn't, he would be in just as much trouble as the kids who were doing it. We also told him it's not good to be friends with kids who do things like that, because he would always be in trouble too - we taught him the principle of guilty by association.

So, am I wrong? Do I need to go spy at recess?

Come on...he offered to let me check for spots...that's almost reason enough alone...

4 comments:

jen said...

testing...

delilas said...

You did a great job and I would believe him. Tough situation for both parents. I hope he called all the boys parents. my 2 cents. :D

Donnarae Korth said...

I'd like to comment on it, but I don't really think I have any merit. I think you did a good job, for what it's worth.

Beth said...

Given the 3 Kyle situation--I think you should trust him. Worst case scenario, he did it and if he did you already had a serious talk about the issue and he certainly knows he will be dead if he does it again. But if the best case is true and one of the other "Kyle with brown hair" did it, you certainly don't want to punish him.