Tuesday, December 11, 2007

A tip everyone should live by...

Ever since we have moved here, I haven't had too many friends. I'm not exaggerating. I have family around, but other than 1 person (she knows who she is and I am eternally grateful for her friendship) I have really struggled with making friends here. Partly it is me being busy with my work, but people aren't really inviting. I know that sounds wierd, but during Sacrament meeting, we had the greatest speaker. I don't have any idea what his name was, but I think he was from the stake, because I didn't recognize him. The topic was on fellowship. He made the greatest comment. I have felt this ever since we moved here, but couldn't quite put it into words. He did so fantastically. Background: He said he moved to Utah after his mission, and his dad wanted him to go to a singles ward. He said he did, and everyone was SO friendly, but nobody wanted to be friends! AH HAH! That is how I've felt! Everyone is really nice, says Hi, waves, but nobody (except the one) made me feel like they genuinely wanted to be my friend, to invite my kids to be in playgroups, etc. To be honest, I have really disliked living here. I love our family and it would be really hard to live without them now, and I know my husband and kids LOVE it here, but it has been SO hard for me! For those of you who know me, friends are a big part of my life. They help me when I need to vent, and are there to lift me up when I need it. The greatest friends, I feel, are the ones that make you want to be a better person. I have been blessed to be friends with so many people like that. Having people "drop out" (in a matter of saying) of your life with no one else to fill the void, has been so difficult for me! I know some people in my neighborhood may read this, and it's not meant to be a slam, I don't think people consciously decide that they don't want to be your friend, people are just busy and do their own thing, hang out with their same friends, because that's what's comfortable. So, my tip of the day that I think everyone should live by, and I will definitely try to do is:

Don't be friendly, BE A FRIEND!
I think it's my new motto...

5 comments:

delilas said...

I know how you feel. The first year in AZ was just like that for me. I didn't even have family in the city. I started inviting people over and setting up dinner dates with other couples. I basically wiggled my way in. You soon find out who needs you as much as you need them. I had one friend in AZ that has balanced that family, friend thing really well. I would love for you to live by me, again. Only this time a little less traffic between us.

Pricilla said...

I love that motto. I have felt that way so many times in my life.

Cheney Family said...

I totally know what you mean!! Sometimes I feel it is me. But sometimes I put myself out there and nothing happens. I think that might be my motto for the new year also.

Skinner Family said...

Wow. Great post. I think I might be one of "those people". When people move in I'm always nice, but I already have "my thing" going on. I have stuff to do, playgroups formed. THis is a good reminder for me.
Also- I haven't checked you're blog in a while and HOLY COW. You are the most talented person. The pictures, the advent calender, the crafting... truley amazing.

SFNielsens said...

I really like that Jen. I've kind of been bumming about friends lately too. More like I thought they were friends and turns out they were just being friendly. So I gave up. I've only have 6 months left before I blow this joint. YIPEE!